Joust
09-06-2003, 19:04
From the "I'm not making this up; these people really do think like this" department.
Mainichi Daily News, 29/04/03
"Once men get past their mid-thirties their metabolism slows down rapidly," Dr. Shukan Tokuho told a press conference in Tokyo, "and subcutaneous fat increases in the body resulting in middle-aged spread. Exercise is the best way to reduce it, but busy salarymen are tied to their desks all day, and don't have the time to go to the gym. So I had them in mind when I invented my simpler way to a slimmer physique ............the masturbation diet."
Earlier Dr Tokuho had astonished reporters with details of his unusual weight loss programme. "The three main advantages of this regimen are that it's quick, easy, and good for health. Five minutes of vigorous masturbation can consume 300 calories, which is the equivalent of sprinting 100 metres. It can be done while sitting at your desk, and the experience is so refreshing it can replace a light meal thereby saving more calories.
The ideal position is leaning back in a chair, with the heels raised about 10 centimetres off the floor, because this puts tension on the stomach muscles. Performed in this way, masturbation is as strenuous as doing push ups or sit ups in a sauna and can trim 8 centimetres off the waist if performed twice a day for a month as part of a calorie controlled diet. "Best of all, my method is far safer than sexual intercourse, because there are no worries about diseases or unwanted pregnancies. I'd recommend it to any office worker who is worried about his weight, and my plan is neatly summed up in one simple slogan:
Shake for breakfast, Shake for lunch, and a sensible dinner."
Mainichi Daily News, 29/04/03
"Once men get past their mid-thirties their metabolism slows down rapidly," Dr. Shukan Tokuho told a press conference in Tokyo, "and subcutaneous fat increases in the body resulting in middle-aged spread. Exercise is the best way to reduce it, but busy salarymen are tied to their desks all day, and don't have the time to go to the gym. So I had them in mind when I invented my simpler way to a slimmer physique ............the masturbation diet."
Earlier Dr Tokuho had astonished reporters with details of his unusual weight loss programme. "The three main advantages of this regimen are that it's quick, easy, and good for health. Five minutes of vigorous masturbation can consume 300 calories, which is the equivalent of sprinting 100 metres. It can be done while sitting at your desk, and the experience is so refreshing it can replace a light meal thereby saving more calories.
The ideal position is leaning back in a chair, with the heels raised about 10 centimetres off the floor, because this puts tension on the stomach muscles. Performed in this way, masturbation is as strenuous as doing push ups or sit ups in a sauna and can trim 8 centimetres off the waist if performed twice a day for a month as part of a calorie controlled diet. "Best of all, my method is far safer than sexual intercourse, because there are no worries about diseases or unwanted pregnancies. I'd recommend it to any office worker who is worried about his weight, and my plan is neatly summed up in one simple slogan:
Shake for breakfast, Shake for lunch, and a sensible dinner."